Two years of wearing a mask.
There has been a two year deep dive into the new persona that is the current reality. We are in a time of a powerful awareness of not knowing up from left and behind from inside, yet those who’ve been choosing to see the light have been the guiding compass through a two year journey through the dark unknown.
I’m here as I AM, exploring everything and anything while honoring the unknown of it all. The individual and collective reality that brought the unearthing of this masked life, has left residual feelings of nothingness within the truth of everything*ness.
The time of being masked has been a time where I explored the truth of my being. How can I foster the student of life mindset, while also saying yes to the gift of life; the gift of playing. Much was revealed during the time of the hermit, so much so that I blossomed into a new human. Deeply rooted in my belief as I discovered my superpower, the gift of loving unconditionally. Maybe this power has always been here. The unconditional love hiding under society’s conditioning of what love should be.
During the time of darkness, darkness which seems to be an integral part of the human experience, I became deeply aware of the love I have for others and how this love does not sway depending on the actions or words shared, but only grows stronger as the discovering of self love blossoms. Peeling back the layers of self, even the layers that seem so thin and non-existent, led me through the maze of emotional ups and downs. I see now that the human experience is to ride this wave of turbulence. Yes, the love does not change on conditions, but grows stronger through the awakening of the wave of life. Through the awakening of the embodiment of beauty. I see and feel beauty within myself, therefore I see and feel beauty within all other beings.
For years the releasing of experiences, thoughts, and emotions have taken over this landing page. The messages always seem to be the same, but the words vary depending on what the focus of life is. Even as I type this sentence I’m being reminded of the exhaustingly beautiful experience of coming back to the light after the horrifying darkness that seems to be forever lurking in the shadows.
There is comfort in knowing that this is the human experience, that one is unable to live on this floating rock of thriving life without feeling into the darkness. Then, the comfort is quickly sucked away as the remembrance of my mind and the loneliness within it floats to the surface. Maybe the only reason for loneliness is the purpose of the lesson? The lesson of the NOW, the lesson of the breath.
The day was beautiful, the day was joyful. The day was a bright and grounding one. I’d been off social media for some time, rolling into three months. Then, the day came to re*emerge again; I decided to accept my choice of entering the world through the screen. There are no words to express the transition from bliss and joy to loneliness after entering the world of Instagram for less than one evening. What does this say about me? Of my confidence and acceptance of self? Hold on, what does this flip of emotional health say about the world within social media?
I’ve been hearing through the olive branch that to be successful with business, side hustles, and community connection one needs an active social media account and/or a presence with highly successful beings. Here I was, less than one day back on and all I wanted to do was numb myself into the corner of the basement, of a basement of a basement of a basement.
What I have come to discover is that social media is a tool. A tool to engage with socially, for there it is, SOCIAL media. This is just that. The ideas that business and community success must first stem from an already successfully established entity or from a large social media following is one that has disintegrated within my very core. What is success, but the wholehearted acceptance of the love and beauty of the self? So, here I AM. Actively engaging with the opportunities of community and social connection within the screen of the unknown, only to be followed by the active embracing of life outside of the screen.
I am you and you are me.
The flow of success and love is my truth. I have the power and the strength to move beyond limiting beliefs and say yes to the beauty of the now. I’m announcing to the world, to the screen, and to myself that the storylines of lack and unworthiness have soaked into the fertile grounds of Gaia. The growth of love, abundance, and creation now bloom from the seeds of that which no longer serves. The life within the screen is what it is. Some thrive, some disappear, and some isolate from the world. My choice lands in the in-between of the movement forward, of the inhale and exhale of every rising second.
Who knows, actually I believe we all know if we really listen, where this journey will land next. Does it matter? Now more than ever the time has come to love deeper, listen more, see and smell all the colors, then follow this dish of life up with a side of empathetic ease.
It’s a life worth living, not a life meant for suffering.
Releasing. Forgiving. Loving. Being.
Xo Chia; Renée